the one that got away

sometimes I sit and think what im going to write in my blog that day. I have so many different blog ideas in my head right now but right now I need to share about the only and first time  I thought/knew I was in "in love". who knows if I really was, I was only 16. But I haven't felt that feeling since so. Guess I was? 
(im going to try to keep this one short and sweet, I SAID I'LL TRY)


WELL it started when we met. we didn't met at a party or online. we met a weird but cool way. I basically took dance class with his sister, grabbed her phone out of her hand because I wanted to talk to her brother. and had a weird obsession at the time with guitars so I asked him to give me lessons, he agreed, and came over. crazy but it was love at first sight. well for me. it was originally going to be like 3 hours he was going to stay but he ended up staying till midnight. ohhhhhh young love.


(this blog is about to get mushy)
I just knew I wanted to loose it to him. I was feeling something new for the first time and I knew I wanted it to be him, to this day, I dont regret it. first date, first... lets say everything. well... not everything.. haha. 
from playing guitar for me, from him making me watch movies I wouldn't have watched on my own, from movie dates, football games, late night phone conversations, the park, brushing my hair out of my face and kissing my forehead... oh man. magical moments. Iv never had anyone tell me how beautiful I was as much as he used to. 
the relationship didn't last very long. but the feeling did last long.


long story short, I screwed up. we stayed friends then he moved away, to a far far away land called LA. then I moved to florida (my dumb ass came back) and now I get lucky if I get a hold of him via text message or facebook. 


this summer I saw him, and it was like nothing changed... well a little but we were the same. and it was amazing but it only lasted a day. well a night and a morning to be exact. every summer and christmas break I hope I will see him. I remember last christmas I was in florida and he came to town and said "what town are you in?" of course I was in florida and he was in my hometown of san antonio... WOW.  I was rather sad. 


the reason why I decided to write about him was  because a). I had a dream about him last night. and B.)he runs through my mind at least twice a week, so I had to get it all out. 
Iv never met someone so talented, very unique and different. to this day he's still a mystery I cant figure out. maybe thats why I still have him in the back of my mind. I would post a picture of us but... EH. we look twelve in all of them. 


maybe, one day I could feel this love again :/


<3 chelseamac

everythings gonna be alright...

So I was walking back to my car tonight from the bar ( YES I left sunday funday early, I didn't want to but sometimes you have to have your priorities straight) I heard the song "lulliby" by shawn mullians. It's a 90's song and it made me appreciate the 90's music and just the 90's in general. Just like the song "naked eye", love that song. anyways so since there is just so much on my mind SO MUCH, I am just going to jot down everything real quick. 

-why do men/BOYS intend on wanting to sext me and or just WANT to have sex with me when they have girlfriends? I can name three right now on the spot, but if they read this ... well... you know.

-my weekend was swell. worked black friday(hate my new job but that will be another blog) and saturday after work I went to austin (as always) and had a swell time with my best friends denise and aaleen. butttt I didnt get to go to kingdom :( or go see the fucking muppets! no one understands my desire to go see a movie jason segal wrote with my boyfriend MUPPET fonzie. he's so FLUFFY! haha

-my stomach is growling, I skipped out on dinner... thats another thing. thought about how fat my stomach is getting so im going to  try to calm down on eating so much and start going to #texas state's REC. 

- "not any girl I have ever known in my life has slept with a guy and not had one little ounce of feelings for him"- PAULY D. this little something he said is so true and keeps throbbing in my head. REALITY SHOWS CAN TEACH YOU SOMETHING KIDS. I know I know I wish I wouldn't be this girl but it sucks. there are some or maybe one that I could give two shits about if I see him with a girl. but then there's some that you just have so much fun with and somehow its driving  me nuts that hes not responding to my text messages!, or that I see him and his girlfriend walking right in front of me. god im an idiot and I make the dumbest decisions but I live my life off of drakes great lyrics. "I really dont give a fuck and my excuse is that im young". I wish I wasn't the little jealous type but I just want a little attention from you bro :/

-all my girlfriends were talking about boyfriends/ ex boyfriends/ boys there talking to/ multiple boys there talking to/ ect ect ect. and I suddenly got super jealous. my last boyfriend was when I was 18 so I'd be stupid to talk about that and ever since its just been boys that I chill with here and there. I know I wine and complain about this all the time but god it just sucks. today I walked up to a boy at a bar with a dog and started petting it and we started talking and then my dumbass walked away. but I was thinking thats a cute way to meet someone (if you did) I really dont know what im doing wrong. I know im not hot like all my girlfriends but I got a damn humor on me and a great rack (wow I just said that) GAWWWW ALL I WANT IS SOMEONE I CAN COOK FOR, WATCH MOVIES WITH, CUDDLE WITH ON THE COUCH AND PUT MY HANDS IN HIS JACKET POCKETS(its sexy shut up)

ok I could go on and on all night but it would just be ridiculous. Im dreading school tomorrow. coldness, walking around alone and long ass lectures. Oh well maybe ill learn something coool. 

<3 chelseamac

im gonna leave you with this awesome video.

"he drives a chevrolet, I DONT KNOW ABOUT ALL THAT!"

I have been friends with this girl since I was about 17. But lately, I guess since summer 2011, we have gotten so close. And ever since I moved to San Marcos, we have gotten even closer.
This girl's name is
....
Aaleen Cox.
she asked me last week, "what should I write about in my blog?" and I said, "write about me!" so im just gonna write about her, I have so many topics in my head but lately I just gotta get this out. 

Why I appreciate her and what you need in a great friend like this:

-she doesn't argue (when I throw a fit she ignores it and doesn't get into it with me)

-we have the craziest video blogs(our channel:up soon) and inside jokes

-I have a blast with her (were both a blast in a glass)

-we make pedi cab driver boyfriends (hahahaha)

-she's down to go to raves with me (even though we've only been to one... many more to come:)

-SHES ALWAYS DOWN! (if I say, "bitch we're going to see twilight tonight" she says "k!")

-we like to go pick up boys at 6 AM ( OH SHIT.) (JUST TO PLAY JUST DANCE OF COURSE..)

-whenever im feeling low or down about myself, she always reminds me how awesome I am and goes INTO detail

-she sings DISNEY songs with me LOUD

AND last and foremost, I think we tell each other about everything. and its great. and I love her :) thank aaleen , for everyting. I wish I could do the second power on here.

OH, and she got me into blogging :)

dont get offended if your one of my great friends, i'll probably make a blog about you to soon :) 


http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=2244298277209&set=t.531591452&type=2








AND ONE LAST THOUGHT... im five seconds away from going to MATCH.COM. :(






<3 chelseamac 
(live long and prosper!)

bring on the mistletoe

 WHAT THE HELL? I still haven't got to kiss in under the mistletoe :(  I WILL THIS year damnit. I am determined. anyways, I LOVE the holidays, who doesn't? The cold weather, the hot chocolate, CHRISTMAS and THANKSGIVING dinner (there the same in my family) , the parades (disney and macys day), PRESENTS, giving presents, new years. Man last year I made a whole dinner for all my rama family in Florida. It was delicious and a blast. 

 This year I really want to go to #LIGHTS ALL NIGHT in Dallas, TX. But one I don't think I can afford it and two I don't know who to go with! 
the holidays always make me really want a lover. I day dream about sitting by a fire cuddling on a couch with the fire place going and a dog right next to us. I know I have weird life fantasy's. 

and the one thing that san antonio area doesn't get is snow. last winter I was in FL and I saw pictures of everyone posting snow pictures. and one morning I woke up in january and my backyard has snow in it! but that was a one time thing. maybe its a good thing we don't really get snow. my aunt tells me how annoying it is in ohio. anyways I just want a snow day where I can go play in the snow like MAX did in WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE. oh man, the things i think about

drink my beer and smoke my weed, my good friends are all I need

pass out at 3, wake up at ten, then do it again, man I love college. -asher roth

OK college is really not going this way, and I thought it would be.

When I got into Texas State I was so excited. For a girl who failed the TAKS test and FORCED to get a GED. wait I wasn't forced it was MY decision. because the stupid law in Texas states that if you don't pass the TAKS you don't graduate. which is RIDICULOUS. anyways so for a girl like me, and it taking me 23 years to get here is just a big deal to me. 

I thought when I got here it would be, brand new friends, study groups, big house parties, new job and the river all the time. NO, I was wrong. maybe its my fault, maybe I should have lived in the dorms. ( I felt like I was to old for that...) I really don't know. I made friends alot quicker in FL. Maybe its because we were at work and not school. and it was disney not college. I even joined a club (loud crowd) and still haven't made much friends in there. some aquaintences but no friends yet. 

At this school everyone (including me) get on the tram with their headphones on and it takes a while to talk to someone close to you in class. lets talk guys! Hopefully it will get better and I can get the college experience I want. But so far... I am proud to be a bobcat :) EAT EM UP CATS!

Im glad I have my best friends in austin I can run away to on the weekends :)

<3 CHELSEAMAC

a dream is a wish your heart makes

 this place is the place I resided for six months. It was the best six months ever and I will never forget it.
My friends get so annoyed when I talk about it but frankly, I don't give a fuck. If I want to share to you an adventure I had i'm gonna share it and if it annoys you sorry.
From E-STOPS, early mornings (7am), 15 hour days, mickey mouse ice cream bars, international guest, little girls dressed like princesses every day... every day at work was another adventure. I loved telling guests where to go, I also loved giving them pointers. 
From the family I made very quick (my rama family), from the friends I made just at my apartment complex.... I think I met the greatest people in the world.
From going to any park we want, at any time we want... life just couldn't get any better.  

 These two pics ^ and down here, is when my two friends came to visit me from San Antonio and I took them to parks for free! It couldn't get any better than that my friend. We waited almost an hour to see Buzz and Woody, but it was the greatest moment ever! 

Taking six months off of college to do this program was so worth it and I wouldn't go back and change it for the world. What I would give to spend one more day with my rama family, hanging out in the parks.


<3Chelseamac.

they know, they know, they know

Lately I have been thinking about how maybe I have made to many bad decisions and the fact that I havent't had a real companion in five years... is all because the stupid decisions iv made. or romance has just gone out the door.

Is it crazy all I want is just to go on a date? rather than, "hit me up and well meet up downtown" I wish i could get a text  saying "let me take you out friday night"

Is it my fault? even when I moved to a new city and I met someone new... it still didn't turn out to be the romance I wanted. I move back home and found out he had a girlfriend the whole time.

Why do I keep getting lied to? 

Who knows, for now I have to stop caring, and just HOPE some sort of prince charming will come along. I feel like times have changed and its a little harder now days, or maybe its just me?